My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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