I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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