Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
