You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
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