im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
