Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize