absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize