I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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