Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
