So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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