if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize