dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
