Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
