I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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