Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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