Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
