My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
