Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
ttyl tear gas
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
