How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
