so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
