Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
