i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You took a bar mat shot.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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