...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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