I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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