i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
the day after is always just damage control
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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