You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
