do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
