we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
