just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
