Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I don't want my vagina anymore.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
