I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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