Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
