one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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