so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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