clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
