Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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