I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
