I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
