I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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