I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
