trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
