there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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