Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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