When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize