come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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