...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
