he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
