apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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