I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
