there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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