before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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