Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Everything about him screamed your future.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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