doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
