dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
you inspire me to be a worse person
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
