I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
