Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
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