Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
