Umm I'm too high to move.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
