So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
that's an acceptable place to lick
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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