He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
