God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
