you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
