woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
