Soap is not a condiment
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
