I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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