Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
