Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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