did you get engaged???
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
