Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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