It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Randomize