Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
