Don't you send me to vm
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Randomize
